Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
