brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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