Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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