I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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