you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
