Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
