Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize