I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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