You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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