OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
