i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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