absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
