There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
