No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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