that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
