and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
