Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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