i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
