his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
