YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
