my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
