hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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