why didn't you poke me back
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
