its not stalking. its research.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
