You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
