those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
