carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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