You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
