So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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