She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
