Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
