How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
