As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize