I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
