You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
