i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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