where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
