left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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