Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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