Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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