Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
