someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
