super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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