I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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