Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
my liver is dry heaving
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
