Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
did i just pee glitter
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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