Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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