If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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