I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
