Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I look excited, but its just a facade.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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