I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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