the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
