Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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