you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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