sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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