Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize