How'd it feel making her break her religion?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
