Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
