At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
