You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
