she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize