He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
