you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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