it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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