New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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