best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
