People with herpes should wear stickers.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
