you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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