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• (716): View more from New York

  you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

  (1+44): View more from

  Which pub are you in?

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• (760): View more from California

  Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.

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