he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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