so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
