I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
