It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
