sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
