Tell her she can't have a vagina
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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