will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
