Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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