Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
